Fallen Angel
by Jekyll.CATS.Sisi24601
Summary: Demeter, Munkustrap, Bombalurina, Tugger, and Macavity have all been friends for as long as they can remember. Macavity has, over the years, proven to be reckless and to have little care for anything. Demie wants to believe that Macavity is a friend and forgives his countless mistakes. One day, Macavity does the unforgiveable and Munkustrap and Demie try to mend what's been broken.
1. Chapter 1

***I don't own CATS or any of the characters!**

###

A crisp, cold wind rushed through the junkyard and, for a moment, everything moved as if being tossed around by the wind. And then, all of a sudden, everything stopped. It was quiet and still. Then, slowly, everything became animated again and burst into motion.

"Come on, Demie. Don't tell me that you're going to freak out now. It's just a little bit of wind and besides, we've been wanting to do this all summer!"

" _You've_ been wanting to do this all summer." I corrected. "Why couldn't you get someone else to go with you?"

"Because Munkustrap would tell our father and Tugger and Bomba are too busy making mischief."

"You could have gone by yourself, you know, Macavity?" I groaned, following him further away from the junkyard. "Besides, Munkustrap will realize that we're gone, you know?"

"No, he won't." Macavity proclaimed. "I made sure of it."

"What did you-?"

"Nothing, nothing!" Macavity laughed. "Demie, loosen up a little, won't you? You _know_ that I'd never hurt Munkustrap!"

I gulped, nodding. This seemed to satisfy Macavity and he smiled and surged on, tugging me along. Privately, I thought to myself, _"But you would, Macavity. You would. If it meant getting what you wanted, you'd hurt Munkustrap or anyone else who tried to talk sense into you."_

"I don't see what you think is so special about going over the wall, Macavity." I muttered. "The junkyard's safe and it's home! Why on earth-?"

"Don't you ever get tired of doing what you've got to do sometimes? Don't you ever want to do something that you're not supposed to do?"

I sighed. "Rules are there for a reason-."

"Mhmm. To be broken. Come on, Demeter. I brought you along because I thought that you could handle it."

"I _can_. But I don't see why-."

"You're starting to sound like Munkustrap, Demie." Macavity hissed at me. He was starting to get annoyed with me. That much was clear from the tone of his voice.

" _It might do you some good to listen to Munkustrap from time to time."_ I thought to myself but I didn't dare to say it aloud. I'd learned that there was very little that Macavity liked less than hearing about what Munkustrap believed and what Munkustrap thought was best. If you told him that Munkustrap wouldn't approve of something, Macavity's resolve to do whatever it was only hardened.

We'd all been friends when we were younger and I didn't ever want that to change. But with time, I found myself feeling more and more uncomfortable around Macavity. His distaste for rules and his reckless behavior began to worry me and made me want to distance myself. As a kitten, he'd had some sense of what one should and shouldn't do but as we'd gotten older, I saw that understanding start to fade away. His rebellious actions began to go far beyond just breaking rules. As we got older, his grand schemes became less about rule breaking and more about being despicable. But none of us could find it in ourselves to say anything about it. Except Munkustrap and Macavity hated his brother for it.

When Macavity had first presented this idea of going over the wall to us, I was glad that it wasn't something that was altogether insane. And yet, I hadn't thought that it would involve dragging me along. I thought that, perhaps, he'd go on his own. Do his own exploring. But he insisted that I go along.

"Come on, Demeter. We're almost to the wall." Macavity hissed at me, sending me a mischievous grin.

Sure enough, we were almost at the wall. I didn't like the idea of leaving. It wasn't that I was afraid of leaving, precisely. But it was more the fact that for as long as I could remember, we were told about all of the horrible things that could happen outside of the junkyard. The junkyard was a safe haven to me and to the rest of the Jellicles. Of course, I wanted to leave _sometime_ but leaving at night with Macavity seemed like a bad idea in every way imaginable.

"What do you even want to do when we get over the wall?"

"Don't worry about that." Macavity snorted. "It's a surprise. Now, are you coming or not?"

I sighed. Macavity wouldn't let me say 'no' even if I wanted to. Then, suddenly, there was a loud crash from within the junkyard and Macavity stopped walking. "I…" I started. "I want to see what-."

"Demie, it's probably nothing." Macavity snorted. "Come on, let's go."

I shook my head, adamant. "No." I said and ran as fast as I could. I had a bad feeling about whatever had caused the crash and so I hurried to see what it was.

Macavity followed close behind, annoyance and frustration radiating off of him. Munkustrap greeted me with a quick nod.

"What's happened?" I asked, my voice shaky.

"I'm not sure. I thought that something might have happened to you. I figured that you were with Macavity and-." Munkustrap stopped talking as Macavity appeared behind me.

"Well?" Macavity asked. "What's going on?"

A cry for help resounded throughout the junkyard and I ran, following it. I hated the anguished, broken sound and intended to find out what had caused it.

As I rounded a corner, I was met by Bomba and Tugger. "Do you know-?" I started and Bomba nodded.

"It's Cassandra—she's hurt."

"B-b-but _how_?" I gasped.

"She was walking far up there." Tugger muttered, pointing up at a high ledge. "Can't say that I know why…"

"And we all know that it's unlike Cassandra to do something dangerous like that." Bomba agreed and I gulped.

"Perhaps _she_ didn't think to do it herself." I whispered and Bomba and Tugger shot me odd looks.

When nearly everyone was gone away, I dragged Macavity away from the scene.

"You dared Cassandra to do that, didn't you? You _knew_ she'd get hurt and you told her to-."

"Demie, Demie." Macavity laughed. "You can hardly blame me for Cassandra taking a dare, can you? That'd be simply ridiculous! Besides, I needed to create a diversion so that we'd be able to make it over the wall easily." He shrugged nonchalantly. "It was her decision to do what she did."

"How can you be so apathetic?"

"Listen, Demie. You're being ridiculous. _I_ didn't hurt her. She did that to herself." He replied, putting a paw on my arm to try and calm me down but I pulled away.

"Get away from me." I hissed, fleeing from the spot. I hated Macavity for what he did and I hated myself for being a part of his cruel actions.

"Demeter? Are you alright?" Munkustrap asked and I looked at my friend, offering him a weak smile.

"I'm fine, really-."

I could tell that Munkustrap didn't believe me and I sighed.

"Just… don't worry about it, okay-."

"About what?" he asked, cocking his head to the side slightly. "Demie, I'm worried about _you_ because you're running around the junkyard with tears streaming down your face. And well… perhaps you don't want to talk about it-."

"I really, really don't." I whispered.

"Okay." He nodded. "Here, sit by me." He said, beckoning to me a little.

I sat beside him and wiped at the tears that were running down my cheeks. "You wouldn't want me sitting next to you if you'd known what happened."

Munk smiled weakly and touched my paw. "You're talking about what happened with Cassandra, aren't you?"

I gaped at him. "You _know_?"

"I made a guess." He shrugged. "You pulled Macavity aside and I figured that it had something to do with him. I don't see what it has to do with you, though."

"You don't understand-."

"No, I don't." he admitted kindly, offering me a smile. "But I know that what happened with Cassandra wasn't your fault."

"But-."

"You know, I heard one of the kittens tell me the most ridiculous story today." Munkustrap said, stopping me before I could say anything else. "Something about a troll who wanted to fly."

Munkustrap continued on with his story and I was able to laugh. And, for a moment, I forgot what horrible things Macavity had done.

When Munkustrap was done telling his story, I said goodnight and walked back to the den I shared with Bomba silently.

As I curled up in my bed, I wanted to believe that everything was going to be alright. I wanted to believe that Cassandra would get better and that Macavity would see his wrongs and make amends. Yet, deep in my heart, I knew it was wishful thinking. The sort of thing that only comes true in dreams.

When I woke up in the morning, the silence in the junkyard told me everything that I needed to know.

Cassandra was dead.


	2. Chapter 2

***I don't own CATS or any of the characters!**

###

When I heard the news, I shuddered and fell to my knees, unable to believe it.

For all of the havoc that Macavity wrought on the junkyard, I could not believe—no, did not _want_ to believe—that Macavity was capable of murder.

I ran from the scene, burdened with the knowledge that I had and burdened by the war inside. I knew what had happened. I wanted to find Macavity and force him to tell everyone what he had done. Perhaps they'd be generous if Macavity confessed his faults.

After running far away from where most of the tribe was congregated, I slumped against a tire. Tears raced down my face, each one trying to catch the other. I let out a broken cry. I could settle it all once and for all. Cassandra's death could be avenged and Macavity, perhaps, would see the error of his ways and start over. That was possible, right?

Above all things, I wanted to believe that that would be possible but deep inside I knew that Macavity wouldn't learn. Wasn't that the moral of all of this? For years, I'd forgiven him for things he'd done. For years, I'd passed off his increasingly dangerous behavior as play. And all of that had culminated in murder.

"Demeter…"

I looked up to find Munkustrap peering down at me. I turned away, not wanting him to see that I'd been crying.

"I take it that you've heard-." He started cautiously and I slammed my paw hard into a piece of scrap metal. "Alright then…" he whispered, slumping down beside me. "You've heard about it, then."

" _Who hasn't?"_ I thought to myself, spite lacing the words as they came to mind.

"Everyone has." I replied, hopeless. "And yet, no one has heard the truth."

Munkustrap sighed. "I suppose that you're wondering if we _should_ tell someone."

"No. I _know_ that we should. But I don't know if we _could_." I managed, wiping away tears. "Macavity… he's…"

"Despicable?"

"Yes."

"Cruel?"

I nodded.

"Demie, I think that we all have known that Macavity is capable of horrible things-."

"Of course we've _known_. But murdering a hopeless, sweet kitten like Cassandra?" I gasped. "That is what this is, isn't it? Murder."

Another sigh. "If we have to give it a name, I suppose that it is."

"And what if we don't want to give it a name?"

Munkustrap was silent for a moment. "It'd still be murder; we'd just be refusing to admit it."

"Macavity wasn't always like this…" I whispered, shaking my head.

"No, but who is?" Munkustrap replied. "And things change. _People_ change. Heavyside knows that you and I have changed since we were kits-."

"Yes, but we're not like… we're not like Macavity." I gulped. "Or are we?" I added after a moment's pause.

"You're nothing like Macavity, Demie." He sighed. "And yet, I suppose that you think that it's our fault that he's turned out the way he has."

"No. Not _our_ fault. _My_ fault."

Munkustrap looked over at me but didn't say anything.

"You've always been quick to tell Macavity when he was doing something wrong but I… I never could bring myself to."

"Believe me, I haven't done everything I could do either."

"But-."

He took in a shaky breath and smiled at me sadly. "There are so many things that he's done that I should have gone to our father about but I never did. I said that I would but I didn't. Empty threats can only go so far. I suppose that after a while Macavity stopped taking me seriously—figured out what my game was—because he slowly started to just not care."

"He's never cared, Munkustrap." I replied weakly, trying to console my friend. "You can't blame yourself-."

"There was a time in which he did care about others, Demie. Believe me, there was."

"Yes, but he was always…"

"A little aloof?" Munk filled in for me and I nodded.

"I suppose so."

"I don't suppose that aloofness is wrong." He chuckled lightly. "He did—does—care for _some_ things though, Demie."

"I haven't seen a caring side to him in well over a year, Munk." I sighed, shaking my head.

Munkustrap smiled knowingly. "He cares about you, Demie."

I looked over at Munkustrap and shook my head fiercely. "I-I don't want him to care about me. His care means nothing but trouble and-."

"Perhaps not." He nodded. "But I take some comfort in it."

" _Comfort?"_ I gaped at him. "What comfort is to be found in that? Even if he does care about me as you claim it didn't stop him from killing Cassandra, Munk."

"No, but I think that it means that there's some hope to be found in it. I suppose that I think that it means that he's not altogether a villain as we sometimes think he is."

I heaved a heavy sigh. "Well, I don't see what any of this means. I don't know what we're supposed to do nor what we _can_ do."

"It does seem pretty hopeless, doesn't it?" Munkustrap nodded, offering me a small grin.

"More than hopeless."

Munk's eyes lit up a little as he looked over at me. "I find that hard to imagine. I can't imagine anything worse than hopelessness."

"There's emptiness. I think that's worse." I replied, shaking my head. "That's how I feel: empty."

When I looked over at Munkustrap, he was smiling and I stared at him, baffled at how he could possibly be smiling after what had happened this morning.

"Well, Demie." Munkustrap chuckled, nudging me up to my feet. "Come on, I think that I can help with the emptiness."

"Where are we going?" I asked, following along reluctantly.

"Don't worry about that. You trust me, don't you?"

" _More than I trust anyone around here."_ I thought to myself but I merely shrugged in response.

"Good." Munk laughed. "You'll see soon enough, I imagine."

"I won't hate you for whatever it is you're planning?"

"I hope not." He chuckled. "It'd be a downright shame if I lost yet another friend."

"You have plenty of friends." I pointed out, continuing to follow close behind him.

"I have plenty of friends who call me their friend and tread so cautiously around me that it feels almost as if they're afraid of me." He replied. "And I don't have enough friends like you."

"Like me?"

He smiled. "Yes, like you. Come on, we're almost there."

"Almost _where_?" I inquired again but all he offered me was a small smile.

"Patience, Demie."

"It's awfully hard to be patient in the light of all that has happened today. We still have to figure out how we're going to deal with Macavity-."

"We'll figure that out later. For now, we need to fill that emptiness that you feel."

"I rather think that's a secondary thing…" I murmured.

"Forgive me if I'm wrong, Demie, but I think that it will be nigh impossible to come to a good conclusion on what we should do if you feel empty." He smiled. "It's no good working at something that will come to naught. Sometimes it's best to set a task aside for a little while so that you can regain yourself."

"This is more than just a 'task', Munk."

Munkustrap stopped walking and looked at me, cocking his head a little to the side. "We'll figure out what to do about Macavity. I promise. But just for a few moments I want you to forget about all of that and just to breathe. Macavity won't hurt anyone else while we take a moment to boost your spirits."

"But what if-?"

"Macavity's not that stupid, Demie." Munk reassured me. "And I intend to figure out some way to stop Macavity before he does do something again."

And, in faith I nodded.

###

Riddled with the horrible fear that, at any moment, Macavity might do something, I proceeded with life cautiously, always keeping a watchful eye on Macavity. And somehow he seemed better and kinder. As if Cassandra's death had kicked some sort of remorse into him. This eased my worry a little but Munkustrap was more on guard than ever.

"Perhaps he's changed, Munk." I whispered to him as we watched from a hidden little perch above where Macavity was chasing around some of the younger kittens in playful activity. "He hasn't done anything in weeks, Munkustrap."

I'd always known Munkustrap to be forgiving and quick to believe that someone could change for the better and yet, when it came to his brother, he seemed oddly tense and unsure. There was a skip of anxiety in the way he walked and it worried me.

"Munk, really-."

"Demie, I don't trust him. I… I don't see how anyone can. It's almost as if he's waiting for an opportune moment to strike."

I sighed. "I don't think-."

He shot me a look that was full of weariness and stress.

"Alright. We can continue to watch out for any signs of misstep." I replied quietly. "But it makes me so tired to always be glancing over my shoulder looking out for absolutely _anything_ that he might do."

Munkustrap let out a soft sigh. "I know. Just… I want to keep an eye on him for a little longer." He whispered. "We can manage that, can't we?"

I hesitated a moment and nodded. "Just a little longer."

He smiled. "I promise. Only just a little longer."


	3. Chapter 3

***I don't own CATS or any of the characters!**

 **Quick Note:** Hi all! I think I'm (finally) back! I'm sorry it's been such a long time but I'm hoping to finish this story! I'll admit that I can no longer quite remember where I wanted this story to go but I'm willing to figure it out as I go! Thank you all for sticking with me! Okidoke, let's just jump back into it!

###

And so we watched. I hated every minute of it but Munk had insisted it would only be for a little bit longer… If it was for the sake of ensuring the safety of everyone in the junkyard, it would be for the best. And Munk had promised.

Every single one of those days seemed to drone on forever. I spent my days avoiding Macavity and perching on the wall with Munk as we watched over the kits and made sure to monitor Macavity whenever possible. He, for his part, was doing a good job of evading us.

"I don't know, Munk. If we can't observe him doing anything, what's the point of being so watchful all of the time?"

"Safety?" He suggested, rubbing his eyes. "If we can monitor the kits and his every move, we can make sure that everything's safe. And so long as we're watching, I don't think that he'll try to do anything dangerous. That's better for everyone, isn't it?"

I sighed. "But we can't keep doing this forever. You _promised_ we wouldn't do this forever. Just for a little longer, you said. But how much longer, Munk? We've not seen him do anything suspicious. He's been spending time, mostly alone… maybe that's for the best."

"Or maybe it's something we need to be concerned about." He pointed out. "If he's by himself, no one's able to say what he is or isn't doing. If he's by himself, he's alone with his thoughts."

"Maybe you should try talking to him, Munk." I suggested. "It might tell us something."

I wanted, more than anything, for Macavity to be absolved, for us to accept him back into the fold, and to be able to move on with life. I wanted things to go back to the way they were when we were kits—carefree.

"He won't talk to me." Munkustrap replied, shaking his head. "I've tried, believe me. He just shuns me, snarls, and tells me to leave him alone. He doesn't trust me—and why should he?"

"The only reason he can't trust you, Munk, is because you don't trust him." I said softly. "And that's his fault, isn't it? If he didn't do the things he did, you'd trust him without a problem."

"Of course I would. He's my brother; I want him back."

The words cut through to my heart and I slumped a little. I'd never really thought of it that way. After all, it was so easy to forget that Munkustrap was Macavity's brother. They always had been so different, even when they were kits. I might've lost a friend in Macavity but Munk had lost his brother.

"We'll get him back." I said resolutely. "We have to."

"I hope you're right, Demie." He said weakly. He smiled for good measure but it did not reach his eyes and I could not tell if I should believe him or not.

"I'm going to go talk to him." I said firmly and he looked at me, his eyes uncertain. "You said that he cares about me. Maybe I can get through to him."

Munk nodded slowly but I could see the hesitation. His body was stiff as he sat beside me. I took a deep breath. _I_ was uncertain about it myself. Macavity was unpredictable. Sometimes he almost seemed to be the kit he used to be but he could so quickly, on the turn of a dime, turn into something terrifying.

"It's going to be okay, Munk. If it looks like it could get bad, I'll leave."

He met my eyes and searched them momentarily. "Promise?"

I smiled and hoped it was convincing. "Promise."

###

When I reached Macavity's den, I felt my paws sweating so intensely that I wondered if I should turn back before it was too late. I lingered in the doorway, telling myself that this had to be done. If it couldn't be Munk, it had to be me. It was impossible to entrust the task to Tugger or Bomba; the two were too busy having fun and enjoying their time. They didn't need to be burdened down with this paranoia too.

I opened my mouth to call to Macavity so that he would know I was there but, before I could, Macavity appeared at the doorway, his eyes amused. "Were you going to come in or did you want to just wait out there forever?"

"I… I was just about to-."

He gestured for me to follow after him and I did, silently. His golden eyes searched me and they narrowed as I tried my best to get comfortable. "Munkustrap sent you, didn't he?"

"No." I shook my head. "It was my idea; I came of my own accord."

He ignored what I said and circled around me as if intimidation would get some different answer out of me. "I've seen you two sitting perched atop the wall, you know? Don't think that I haven't."

"We haven't been hiding from you."

"No." He said gruffly. "If you had been trying to, you'd have to be the world's worst hiders. But you _have_ been watching me."

"Mostly," I said softly, "We've been looking after the kits."

"Don't trust them around me after what happened with Cassandra, hmm?" He said lazily, finally stepping away from me to sit, slightly removed from where I was.

"It would be hard to."

He smirked. There was no sign of remorse in his eyes. "If it's affected your way of life so much, why haven't you told anyone that it was me? Are you afraid that they'll shun you for it as well?" He taunted. "After all, you were the one who was accompanying me."

The words stung and I felt my heart race. It was thoughts like these that had been keeping me up at night and I hated that Macavity knew to throw them at me so that I would feel my own conscience convicting me. "I had no knowledge of what you were doing, Macavity-."

"Do you think the Jellicles would care?" He asked, quirking his head to one side. "If you think it would solve all of the problems, why don't you just tell them?"

"I can't do that." I said softly, my voice cracking.

"And why's that? Too afraid of getting what'll come to you?"

"No." I whispered.

"Then what is it?"

"I want to believe that you can be different—that you can be the kit that we all loved and adored when we were younger."

He laughed bitterly. "You can believe it all you want; that doesn't make it true. You'd just be fooling yourself and then who's the one to suffer then?"

"Don't you want us to believe in you?" I asked weakly.

"Does it matter what I want?" He chuckled darkly. "I don't think it does. In the end, I'm what I am."

"I don't believe you're all bad."

He came closer to me and looked into my eyes. Terrified though I was, I forced myself just to look at him resolutely. "I don't know why Munkustrap doesn't just tell you to stop." He said at last. "It's almost as if seeing you run about, _believing_ amuses him."

"He believes in you too, Macavity. Or, at least, he wants to."

"Mm." He mused. "Then he's just as much of a fool as you are. He always was a fool, though, wasn't he? Always sacrificing fun for what was right, even when he was younger. You remember when he stopped playing a game just because you got injured?"

I closed my eyes and nodded. "I remember." It was impossible for me to forget it. Munkustrap had sat with me on the sidelines, watching while the others continued to play, instead of having fun himself. He'd wanted to make sure that I was okay. Perhaps more than that, he'd wanted to make sure I wasn't lonely. "But I don't think that makes him a fool."

"No, you wouldn't I suppose." He rolled his eyes. "You must have been touched by his thoughtfulness."

"You say that as if it's something to be ashamed of."

"No." He laughed, shaking his head. "Not something to be ashamed of; only something to view as a pity. He spends so much time thinking about others that it's so easy to hurt him. He has nothing aside from others that brings him joy—what will he do if the whole world turns against him?"

"There would never come a day like that." I said confidently. "Everyone loves him."

"He doesn't think so." Macavity pointed out. "There's a difference between respect and love. Which one do you think he has from the Jellicles?"

I narrowed my eyes at Macavity. "He has both and you know it-."

"Does he, though?" He shook his head.

"You don't understand the Jellicles, Macavity. They know that Munkustrap has a good heart-."

"If that's true, then Munkustrap should have nothing to worry about." Macavity shrugged. "And neither should you."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

He smiled thinly. "I don't think that matters." He said. "But then, does any of this? I don't believe this talk has gone the way you anticipated."

"No." I whispered. "But I don't intend to give up."

Macavity laughed.

"Goodbye, Macavity." I said softly and left the den.

As soon as I was outside, I hurried home and curled up next to Bomba whom I was relieved to see was safe at home, sleeping on the rug. Next to my sister, I felt safe. Safe though I felt, I couldn't stop the tears from falling. I'd told Munk that I'd talk to Macavity and I had. But I wasn't sure what to report to Munk. As much as I'd known that Macavity was already lost, I couldn't help but feel that he was slipping further out of our grasp.


	4. Chapter 4

***I don't own CATS or any of the characters!**

When the sun rose, I took my time joining Munkustrap at the wall. I still hadn't decided on what I wanted to tell him about my encounter with Macavity. To say the least, things hadn't gone as I'd wanted and I had no good news to bring.

"Demie, what's wrong with you today?" my sister huffed, shrugging me off of her. "You're trying to keep me at home, aren't you?"

I opened my mouth. That hadn't _quite_ been my intention. I'd wanted a reason for myself to stay home but… "No." I said simply, shaking my head. "I'm sorry. If you want to go now, I suppose that you should. You wouldn't want to keep Tugger waiting after all."

"Now, hold on, Demie." Bomba groaned, sitting me down. "Don't try to guilt-trip me..."

I shook my head again. "I'm not trying to, Bomba. I'm sorry. Really, you should get going. Don't worry about me."

Her eyes narrowed as she searched mine. "Did something happen last night before you got home?" she asked. "I remember you came in a little late but I'd just assumed that you were with Munkustrap."

"I was." I said simply. It was mostly true anyways.

She frowned. "Really? Because you seem… off this morning."

"Just tired." I whispered, offering a smile. "And a little stressed out. But there's nothing for you to worry about. You go and have fun today. I'm going to be fine."

"I don't know, Demie. Maybe I'd best stay home with you today."

"No." I said firmly, looking her in the eye. "You're going to go and hang out with Tugger. You're going to have _fun._ Just… just stay safe, okay?"

She sighed. "Fine. Okay. Do you want me to say something to Munk for you?" she asked. "I can, if you want-."

"You don't need to tell him anything." I shook my head. "It's fine; I'm going to go and meet with him in a little bit anyways. I just need to get myself together, that's all." I smiled reassuringly to her and she nodded, seeming appeased.

"Alright. If you need me, though, send Munk to find me. He'll be able to figure it out."

"Okay." I nodded.

"And stay away from Macavity, okay?" Bomba said more quietly, causing my breath to catch in my throat. "I know we grew up with him and that you want to believe that he can be like that again-that _we_ can be like that again-but Demie… I don't want you to get hurt. He's not what he used to be."

I pursed my lips and nodded. "Yeah." was all I could manage to say as my sister smiled and left me in the den alone.

Taking a deep breath, I peered out of the den and saw that Munk had already taken his spot at the top of the wall, watching the young ones as they played cheerfully. I sighed heavily and ran a paw through the fur on my arms restlessly. If Macavity had dared Cassandra to her death, felt no remorse for it, and seemed completely at ease with himself, it could only be the beginning. Any of the others could become mere pawns in his cruel game of chess.

Deciding that I had a duty to, at the very least, do what I could to protect them from the havoc Macavity would certainly wreak, I slipped out of the den and leapt across the junk strewn across the yard and climbed my way up to the top of the wall where Munk was seated. He nodded to me in greeting, offering a soft smile.

I cast a look in the direction of Macavity's den and caught his eyes resting on Munk and I. A feeling of unease grew in my stomach and I looked away from him immediately. When I next turned my eyes to see if he still lingered there, he was gone.

"I take it that things didn't go as planned with Macavity last night." Munk spoke at last. When I looked at him, his eyes were resting on me worriedly and I shook my head. "Don't want to talk about it?"

"I don't really know what to say about it." I admitted. "I thought I would be able to get through to him but he seemed to shut me down before I could even try."

"Yeah?" he sighed.

"He doesn't seem sorry for what he's done at all." I told him. "And… and we can't get Cassandra back and-." I stopped myself, looking down at my paws as hiccups caught in my throat. "You don't think it's my fault that Cassandra died, do you?" I asked softly.

"What?" he blinked. "Demie, no! That's ridiculous. No one would ever insinuate such a thing. If Macavity made you think that, you really ought not to listen to him. We all know it's his fault for what happened to her. He as good as admitted it, Demie. It's not your fault. You couldn't have known what he had planned. It's not as if he told you what he was doing."

"Perhaps not. But it's been a long time since Macavity's games were harmless, Munk, and I indulged him. I indulged him and now Cassandra's dead."

"You didn't know he'd involved her." Munk pointed out, shaking his head. "Cassandra shouldn't have had to have died. You didn't think Macavity would do something like that-none of us would have-and you only thought that Macavity and yourself could possibly get into trouble with his scheme. If you'd known that he'd involved others, you would have refused. I know you would have."

"I think you have too much faith in me."

"One can never have too much faith in someone, Demie. You taught me that, you know?"

I smiled softly. "I did?"

He nodded. "You've not given up on Macavity when almost everyone else has. And you know, I think maybe you're right. Maybe it's too early to give up on him. He's my brother; I want to believe in him too."

"You do?"

"Of course." he smiled weakly. "It may hurt, but I do. So let's keep believing in him together, okay?"

"Y-yeah." I managed. "Okay."

We didn't speak much for the rest of the day, but we didn't need to. It was enough to have each other's company and to be able to know that we were agreed. We'd figure out what to do about Macavity eventually but it didn't need to be right then, right there. In that moment, everything seemed to be calm.

What we didn't realize, however, was that it was the calm before the storm. When I stepped out of the den the next morning with a skip in my step, eager to watch over the kits and keep them from harm's way, I saw all of the Jellicles-excluding Bombalurina and myself who were just leaving ou den-in a tight circle around Munkustrap. Macavity stood a little way off, a smirk on his face and my heart dropped and my features froze. His eyes met mine and he cocked his head to one side, the smirk never leaving his face.

Bomba surged ahead, pushing past the other Jellicles to make it to where Munk was standing. I was so frozen to my spot that I couldn't follow her. It was only when Bomba spoke up, loud and clear that my eyes tore away from Macavity.

"What's going on here?"


	5. Chapter 5

***I don't own CATS or any of the characters!**

###

I watched in a stunned silence as Bomba questioned the Jellicles. She'd pulled Munkustrap away from some who were becoming more… hostile. "Come on, now, what's going on here?" she demanded, her voice deepening as she grew angrier than I'd ever seen her before. Munkustrap watched her in stunned silence for a moment before attempting to get her to step down.

None of the Jellicles would speak up. I could not tell if it was for shame or for a simple lack of knowing what to say but no one spoke. A deathly sort of silence fell over the junkyard and, for the first time in my life, I felt like it wasn't quite the home I had always loved so dearly.

"Well? What do you all have to say for yourselves?" she growled. "Nothing? You can't just threaten someone for no reason!"

"Bomba, it's fine-." Munk started to say and his eyes slowly flickered to me and he stopped. My eyes wide, I started to walk towards him but he shook his head softly. "No." he mouthed and I gulped, staying back. I hated this feeling of hopeless confusion.

For all of Munk's efforts to get Bomba to back down a little, she plowed right on ahead, refusing to stop mouthing off at all of the cats who were assembled there. No one dared speak back to her and I wished she would stop; nothing seemed to be getting anywhere. As soon as she stopped speaking in order to take a breath, however, Macavity strolled through the crowd lazily and came to stand in front of her. "Bombalurina, as always, I appreciate your dedication to the welfare of all of the Jellicles but, unfortunately, you have taken the wrong side this time."

"What do you mean, Macavity?" she hissed, backing away from him and, as she did so, pushing Munk back behind her as well.

"Really, Bomba, it's not worth it." Munk insisted, trying to push in front of her but she batted him down.

"You see, Munkustrap isn't capable of becoming the next Jellicle leader." Macavity said. "He's simply not trustworthy." he said this last part louder, as if it were the part he wanted everyone to hear.

Bombalurina rolled her eyes. "Macavity, you're very welcome to that opinion but everyone here loves and trusts Munk. You're fighting an impossible battle."

"Is that the case?" Macavity asked, feigning shock. "Well, in that case, you won't mind what I say?"

Bomba huffed, shaking her head. "You're being ridiculous, Macavity. There's nothing you can say about Munkustrap that will change anyone's mind about him."

My heart pounded as I realized what Macavity was doing. I wanted to scream for Bomba to stop taunting Macavity-it was only going to make things worse. As if knowing I wanted to say something, Macavity turned his cold eyes up to where I stood. "Demeter, should I just go ahead and say what I have to say?"

"Macavity, don't you dare!" I hissed, raising my voice so that I knew he could hear me. "You're just being malicious and cruel-."

He laughed. "I haven't done anything."

"Not yet but-."

"Convince me, Demie. Convince me not to do it." he hissed through clenched teeth and I looked from him to Munkustrap. I had to do something but there was no clear option to go with.

"You know full well that Munkustrap is the most qualified to take over as Jellicle leader when Old Deuteronomy leaves us." I pleaded, moving towards him and the crowd of Jellicles crowded around him, Bomba, and Munk. "He's always looked after each and every one of us- _always._ There was never a cat he wouldn't watch over us so that we wouldn't come to harm."

"Mm." Macavity mused, pretending to be touched. "Yes, he's always had his eyes out for us, hasn't he? He takes care of this junkyard."

"Yes." I nodded, coming to stand in front of him. "So whatever you have to say against him-."

"But," he continued on, shoving me out of the way when I started to speak. "For all of his watching, he wasn't able to save Cassandra, was he?"

I hadn't thought it to be possible, but the silence resting over the junkyard deepened and I felt a wave of nausea rush over me, my legs starting to falter a little bit. "Macavity, no-."

"And," Macavity spoke up further, drowning me out, "If he's so watchful all of the time and failed to save Cassandra, doesn't it make you wonder if he just _let it happen_?"

"Stop it, Macavity!" I cried out, begging him to stop. "You know full well that Munkustrap never would do such a thing. He never would. He was the first one there when Cassandra fell. He was the one who rushed her to Jennyanydots for care."

"But that wasn't enough, was it, Demie?" Macavity asked, looking at me. His eyes taunted me, as if daring me to say what had actually happened. I opened my mouth to do it, desperate to save Munkustrap as I heard the crowd begin to murmur to one another.

"Demeter, no." Munkustrap said quietly, looking to me. "It's not worth it."

"But I-."

"I'll be fine, Demie." he promised, offering me a soft smile but his heart seemed to be breaking.

I shook my head and faced Macavity, opening my mouth to talk him down but Macavity smiled wryly and spoke before I could. "You see, if Munkustrap couldn't even be watchful enough to save poor Cassandra, what kind of Jellicle leader will he be? What was so important that he failed to watch a kit as she ascended to dangerous heights for her age?"

"Send him away!" cried someone in the crowd. For a moment, silence fell again but it was gone altogether too soon as the chorus of cries for Munkustrap to be cast out of the junkyard grew louder. I looked back at my friend, terrified.

He was not looking at me, though, his eyes focused on his paws instead.

"I'll go." he spoke up at last, looking out at the crowd. His voice sounded weak and pained-something I'd never seen from him before. "If you all cannot trust me and would like me gone, I will go. I won't trouble you all any longer by staying around here."

Everyone stared up at Munkustrap quietly, their shouts suddenly fading. My eyes watched him, my heart pounding all the meanwhile, terrified of what was happening. It was like something out of a horrible nightmare and I wanted to simply just wake up. But I would not.

He took a deep breath and turned around, heading to his den. I cast a look of absolute disdain at Macavity before hurrying after Munk.

"Munkustrap!" I called after him and he turned back to look at me, only for a second.

"Demie, you shouldn't be here with me." he said, continuing to walk towards his den. "You should go back to Bomba and the others-it'll be safer for you that way."

"You're not really going to leave, are you?" I asked, following him into his den. "We need you here-."

"They don't trust me, Demie. How can I stay here if they'd rather me leave?"

"Macavity's lying to them, Munk. If they knew the truth, they'd insist on you staying here."

"Would they? Demie, Macavity's not precisely lying, is he? If I'd been paying more attention, Cassandra might still be here-."

"You couldn't have known." I said quietly. "Remember, you said the same to me when I was blaming myself for her death. Well, the same goes for you. You can't blame yourself, Munk, because it wasn't your fault."

He smiled sadly, shaking his head. "It's not my fault, that's true." he nodded. "But I wasn't able to help either."

"You did everything you possibly could have. You can't allow them to make you leave because of all of this-."

"Thank you, Demie. But it's best if I leave. If I don't have anyone who trusts me and believes in me here, then what am I supposed to be doing here? I don't have a place here anymore. It'll just be best if I leave."

"But I trust you, Munk. Bomba trusts you. I'm sure Tugger does too-."

"And I appreciate that but I-."

"If you insist on leaving, then I'll leave with you too."

"But I don't even know where I'm going to go. Demie, it's not safe for you to come with me. If I die out there-."

"We'll figure something out." I said but I wasn't sure if I truly believed it.

Bomba and Tugger burst into the den then, and started speaking all at once so that we couldn't understand what they were saying. They quickly stopped, looked at each other, and then Bomba spoke. "Munk, you're not seriously planning on leaving, are you?"

"I am."

Tugger huffed, coming to stand directly in front of his brother. "But where will you go?"

"I don't know; I'll figure something out. It's hopeless to battle it out with Macavity; that's all I know."

Tugger thought for a moment and then his eyes lightened up. "What if you were to go and find..." he paused for a moment and took a deep breath, " _Her_?"


	6. Chapter 6

***I don't own CATS or any of the characters!**

###

Munkustrap drew in a sharp breath and looked away from his brother. "I don't think she'd want to see me." he said at last.

"You never know."

"She left us, Tugger." Munk shook his head. "I'm pretty sure she'd be upset to see me and would turn me out immediately. Better to spare myself the pain-better to save _her_ the pain. Even if she was happy to see me, do you think she'd be happy to hear that one of her sons has gone bad?"

Tugger sighed. "I just don't see you having many other options."

"Yeah," Munk breathed, hanging his head, "Me neither."

"You don't really have to go, though, do you?" Bomba asked. "No one would really harass you for it."

"Macavity would." Munk pointed out. "I'm not willing to be the person he uses to make things worse around here. The Jellicles don't need more problems cropping up."

"With you gone, though, I only anticipate things getting worse." I said at last, looking to Munk. "You're the only one around here who's been able to keep Macavity in check and with you gone, who knows what kind of havoc he'll be wreaking?"

Munk sighed and turned to look at me. He reached out for my paw and patted it gently. "It's okay, Demie. Others will rise up to face him. It'll become more and more obvious to the others what's going on with time and they'll force him to stop. I'm not the one to do it-if I were, I would have gained ground by now. My presence only serves to make him upset and, even worse, causes him to act out. Maybe all he's wanted all along," he took a deep breath, and sighed, "Is for me to just go away."

"For all it's worth, Munk, we'll miss you around here. I'm sure that most of us will."

He smiled sadly and nodded. "Thank you. I'll miss all of you as well."

When he had everything settled, he stepped out of the den and we all followed after him. I counted down the steps until we reached the wall where I would have to tell Bomba that I would be leaving with him. I'd also have to face Munkustrap over it-he hadn't precisely seemed keen on the idea when I'd proposed it earlier. Still, I could not bear myself to let him walk away without anyone, all alone.

We did not come to the wall first, though. Instead, we came to a stop in front of Jennyanydot's den and Munk called to her from the door and she hurried out. Her eyes softened as she saw it was us standing there and hurried us into the den. "Munkustrap-."

"It's alright." he said softly. "You don't need to worry about me. I just wanted to say goodbye."

"I'm sorry I couldn't talk sense into them." she said, drawing him in for an embrace. "You always were like a son to me."

He smiled sadly and nodded. "Yes. Thank you for everything."

"You're really leaving, then?" she asked and Munk nodded. "You could hide out here instead, until all of this died down." she offered. "Instead of leaving, that is."

Shaking his head, he pulled away from her. "No. It's for the best that I leave all of this behind-the Jellicles don't need to have someone they don't even trust lingering around. What good will that do?"

"The Jellicles _do_ trust you, Munk." she insisted. "It's just Macavity who's twisting everything and making them distrust you."

"If they really trusted me, it wouldn't matter what Macavity said to them-they wouldn't listen. Perhaps I'll be able to find shelter somewhere else."

"Where?"

"I don't know yet."

"I suggested that he go to Grizabella." Tugger spoke up and Jennyanydot's eyes clouded over slightly, conflicted.

"He could try that, I suppose."

"I don't like the idea."

"It wouldn't hurt to try, Munk." she said simply, looking at Munk sternly. "She probably misses you, you know? Everyone makes mistakes in life and I daresay that Grizabella often thinks back on her choices in much pain and grief, wondering how things might've been different if she hadn't left you, Macavity, and Tugger all alone."

"Maybe." Munk shrugged. "But I find it hard to believe in her. I find it hard to trust her or even want to go to her. I don't want to be hurt by her again-once was enough."

Nodding, Jennyanydots grasped onto Munkustrap's paw and smiled at him softly. "Promise me you won't shun the idea of going to her if it's the only way to save your life."

He took a deep breath. "Okay; I promise."

With goodbyes said and a few tears shed, we left Jennyanydot's den and, walking alongside Munkustrap, we travelled nearer to the wall. Perhaps it was just my imagination but Munk seemed to be walking slowly, as if afraid of forgetting a single part of this place that used to be home. His eyes rested fondly on every little spot of the junkyard and I felt my heart yearn that he would be able to return here someday.

As we reached the wall, Munk looked to all of us and nodded, taking a deep breath. "Stay safe, all of you."

I didn't meet his eyes as Bomba and Tugger stepped forward to say their last goodbyes to him-I simply couldn't bring myself to do it. "Good luck, Munk." Bomba said and he smiled weakly.

"I'll do what I can."

And then, not looking back, he continued on his ascent up the wall. The junkyard would soon be a thing of the past for Munkustrap. I turned to look at Bomba as Munk continued the ascent, ready to leave the junkyard forever. "I'm going with him, Bomba." I told her. "I… well, I can't stand to see him leave alone."

Bomba's eyes darkened and I saw the deep sadness there. "But you may never be able to return if you leave with him, Demie." she said softly. "I may never get to see you again."

"I know." I said softly, looking down at my paws. "But you'll have everyone else who's here. He won't have anyone once he leaves this place."

"Munkustrap wouldn't want you to give up your life for his sake." Tugger spoke softly.

"I'm not just doing it for him." I replied. "There are a few selfish reasons for doing it too, you know? I can't stand to be around here anymore-not with Macavity the way he is. Everyday, it's just painful, watching him being the way he is. I thought I could make him change but I'm losing faith in that every, single day. I can't stand watching him slip further and further away from the cat he used to be into someone with no remorse and no feelings… it's too painful to watch."

Bomba pulled me close and hugged me. "I love you, Demie. Never forget that. And… and make sure that Munkustrap doesn't do anything reckless out there. Look after him, okay?"

"Okay." I nodded. "I love you too."

Tugger, in turn, hugged me too. "Stay safe."

"I'll do my best."

"I hope you find happiness out there, somewhere." he added, smiling at me.

I gave him a smile and then hurried after Munkustrap who was, by this time, already disappearing over the wall. As I reached the top, panting heavily, I looked back at the junkyard one last time and, taking a deep breath, leapt down and left it behind. Munkustrap was walking slowly ahead of me and I hurried after him.

"Munkustrap!"

He turned to look at me and stopped. "Demie, what are you-?"

"I'm coming with you." I smiled, coming to stand beside him. "I told you that I would, didn't I?"


	7. Chapter 7

***I don't own CATS or any of the characters!** This one's a little short but I wanted to put something up this week so here y'all go! I hope you enjoy!

###

After much grumbling, it appeared that Munkustrap had come to terms with the idea that I had no intention of returning to the junkyard and leaving him all alone. We walked in a comfortable silence with no real destination in mind. I guess the only intention was to _get away._ We were doing a fine job of that, too, if it was up to me to decide.

Isn't freedom such a strange thing? We all want it, don't we? But it's just… unsettling. It's unsettling to be free because it seems almost too easy. It doesn't quite seem right. It seemed too easy to be just walking away from the junkyard and away from Macavity, never to have to see him again. I didn't like the idea that maybe Macavity still had more tricks up his sleeve and that he would come after us.

The sun was beginning to set, though, and we'd seen no sign of Macavity or his treachery. We'd come a far way from the junkyard too-it would be difficult to find our way back. I sighed at the though. The junkyard had always been home to Munk and I and now… well, now we would likely never see it again.

Munkustrap looked to me, as if sensing my grief and smiled softly. "Demie, are you okay?"

I took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay. Just… a little disbelieving. Who knew that there's a whole world outside of the junkyard? Of course, I'd seen glimpses of it before but I always thought that where my vision ended, the world ended. Back at the junkyard, everything was visible. There was no such thing as unexplored territory but now… well, look! The sky stretches on forever and ever. Every time I think we've reached the end, there's more."

"Yeah." Munk breathed, looking at the world around us. "We'll never get bored out here, Demie. Everyone back at the junkyard doesn't know what they're missing."

"Where are we going, though, Munk?"

"I don't know." he admitted. "I think we're a little lost."

"We were lost from the moment we left the junkyard though." I pointed out, smiling kindly at him. "We ought to find shelter for the night; we can figure the rest out tomorrow. "

"I guess that out here we'll have to take it day by day."

I nodded.

We, at long last, came to a quiet place with a few trees in a clearing that spanned the width of what the junkyard must've been. Curling up by the trunk of the tree, I tried to will myself to sleep but to no avail. I looked to Munkustrap who, not too far away, seemed to be having difficulty sleeping as well.

"Munk?" I said softly, looking to my friend and he looked up at me. "Do you think that Tugger was right when he said that your mother-Grizabella, I mean-might be glad to see you?"

He sighed and turned his eyes up to the sky. "I don't know, Demie. Maybe." Drawing in a deep breath, he looked back at me. "The truth is that I don't know why she left us all. I don't know why she decided that she'd rather go off and face new horizons instead of watching her children grow up. And… and maybe she regrets it but there's no way of knowing. I'm not sure that I _want_ to know."

I nodded.

"It's just that I've spent so much of my life being angry at her for what she did and I don't know how I would react if I saw a different side to her. It's not that I don't want to give her the benefit of the doubt but what if my belief of her has been right all along? I don't know if I'd be able to take that rejection a second time."

"I know." I whispered. "But what about the chance that maybe she's different now?"

"Yeah." he sighed. "I wonder about that a lot, you know? But if she is different, what can I tell her? That Macavity's gone insane and that he'll do anything and everything, no matter how terrible, to make sure that he gets what he wants in the end?"

I gulped. "That can't be helped now, Munk."

"I know. But I can't help but feel that maybe it's all because I didn't do enough that he's so hopelessly lost now."

Shaking my head, I moved closer to him. "Not a chance, Munk. No one did more than you did for him. No one wanted him to turn out differently than you and we all know it. You would have given your life if it meant that he'd get better."

"I think that all of my trying only made him worse though, Demie." he confided in me, huffing. "Maybe if I'd just loosened up on him, he would've come to his senses on his own. He always had a rebellious streak in him. I just thought he would get over it eventually."

"I think we all thought that." I replied. "You think you were too rough on him but I think myself and others were too indulgent of his rebelliousness and that's why he's turned out the way he is now. Maybe if we'd all been collectively sterner with him, we wouldn't be in this position now."

Munk let out a grieved sort of laugh and nodded. "I guess that, with things like these, we don't ever really know how things might've turned out differently."

"Yeah." I nodded. "Perhaps we're all to blame in our own ways but you can't blame yourself for what happened to Macavity. You told me I couldn't blame myself for what happened with Cassandra so you can't blame yourself for this either."

"It's hard not to, though."

I nodded. "I know. But we'll work through it together. Macavity can't reach us here. He'll never hurt us again."

He smiled but there was some sort of uncertainty in his eyes that lingered there. I could tell that he wasn't sure if he could believe it.


End file.
